Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Latest

I realized it's been a while since I did a post to update the latest things going on in our lives, so I thought I'd take a minute to do so. (Sorry there aren't any pics, I don't have them on this computer) Where do I begin? The first thing that comes to mind is that we had a big party to celebrate Ethan's 2nd birthday! My lil guy is officially a toddler! Chris' parents came down for the weekend, and that was so nice. There are families I know who don't make an effort to see their grandchildren more than once a year, but Linda and Jim see our kids every couple of months, and they love it! Ethan knows exactly who they are, and remembers details from the last time he saw them. I'm really blessed to have such great in-laws, they're awesome! We had a great weekend, and a great party. Ethan loved waking up to a decorated house, and he ran around looking at all the balloons gasping and saying 'wow' each one he saw. He also loved eating cake which he had for the first time! As for Ethan's development by the age of 2, here are some things he can do:

- count to 15 without error
- count things. Eg. I'll say "look at those tractors" he'll say "there's 2 tractors" or if I ask him to count how many blocks he has, he will, and he gets it right
- knows his shapes and colours without error
- speak in pretty much full sentences (using: and, the, that, this)
- he can't figure out the proper ways to use personal pronouns and it's pretty funny
eg. he either talks in 3rd person or says 'yours' when he means 'mine.'
One time I asked him "do you want to get that, or do you want me to get that?" his answer was "me get that," meaning me, not him, lol! (Did you get all that??)
- he loves jumping
- he loves singing, we spend a lot of time singing. He can sing his whole ABC's, and twinkle twinkle, and mostly all the songs we sing
- he's a goof, and loves to 'bug' me. Eg. he sticks out his tongue when I wipe his face, and I say "EW" which he finds hilarious and does it more. He also will grab things and run, and loves to be chased.
- he loves playing hide and go seek, but especially loves to find us. When he hides, it's pretty funny cuz he always hides behind the curtains, then when we say "Ethan where are you?" He says "hiding in the curtains" LOL! Or he'll just crouch in the middle of the floor with his face down. One time I couldn't even find him when he did that! Haha!
- He's very easygoing and doesn't mind sharing for the most part. He doesn't care if kids take or play with his toys (unless it's something he REALLY cares about), and loves giving toys to Anthony
- he will not smile and say hi to Anthony! I always ask him to say hi to him because Anthony just LOVES him, but he refuses. Sometimes if Anthony is smiling at him and he sees, he'll smile back, but that's not too often a day

Ethan is a wonderful kid, who obeys really well. We've found timeouts to work really well. All we have to say is "Ethan do you want a timeout?" He'll say "no timeout," then we say "well then stop doing that" (whatever he's not supposed to) . He'll stop instantly. It took a good week of following through on giving timeouts and now we just have to threaten. It's pretty nice. I can see how having a baby now would be SO much easier because Ethan is easier to discipline and he listens so much better. Oh well, I'm glad we had them close together.

One thing that kind of bothers me about Ethan is that he has developed a speech delay (that's the only way I know how to describe it). It pretty much developed in one day, and what happens is that he stalls on the first sound of the words he says. It's not every word, but it is quite a lot of them and it isn't getting better. It started about 1 1/2 months ago, so we're keeping our eye on it, and are on the waiting list with a speech pathologist. It's quite sad to watch because he often can't even get the word out, but he tries really hard :( He even stops breathing because he's struggling so hard to say the words he's thinking in his head. I really pray this is just a developmental phase because I can see that it would be quite hard to deal with when he's older.

That's where Ethan's at, and I just did a post about Anthony, so now for me and Chris. I have started weight watchers and I'm pretty excited to lose weight. I started doing it on my own in January, but it just wasn't enough accountability and encouragement for me, so I just joined the actual meetings last night. Since January, I've lost a total of 14 pounds, and hope to lose 60+ pounds (including the 14). I've got quite a ways to go, but feel like the meetings will really help. As for Chris, he recently got a promotion at work and a nice raise!! His bosses really trust and appreciate him, which makes him want to work very hard for them. This was a huge blessing, we really needed it!! There's another possibility of a raise and promotion in April, so that would be even better! We feel like we can finally get ahead. It's been a long journey of ups and downs with his career, and it's like we're finally going to be on an uphill journey from now on (meaning it only gets better now). I think that's about it. My life isn't too exciting, I take care of kids, which I love, and I'm looking forward to warmer weather so I can get out for walks AND THEN, I'm looking forward to summer so we can SWIM!!! Yay!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Parenting


I posted this on Facebook a few weeks ago, but thought I'd also put it up on the blog:

I was just lying in bed thinking about my kids and how much I love them. I had so many memories of cute things they did throughout the day, and they made me smile. As I was thinking about kids, it got me thinking about something I'm passionate about; not giving kids labels. So here is how I feel about it. Let me know if you agree, disagree, or have anything to add.
I believe very strongly in praising your kids more than reprimanding them, and building them up so they're confident individuals who know and love who they are. (They're going to have enough negative things pointed out to them from peers and the rest of the world their entire lives!) Part of that is not giving your kids labels. If you don't know what I mean, here are some common ones:

- you're so bad
- you're such a drama queen
- he'a a liar
- she's a troublemaker
- he's a brat
- she's annoying
- you're weird
- you're a little devil

You get the picture. Here's the thing: we all DO bad things, or TELL a lie, or ACT dramatic, but that isn't WHO we are. If you tell a kid he's bad all the time, he'll believe you, and BE bad. Why wouldn't he be? If you tell your kid "that was a bad thing you did, and I know you're not a bad boy, etc...." that is the correct message. I definitely get annoyed with my kids, but I also put the ownership on myself, not them. I say "I am very annoyed right now" or "man that's annoying."
So if you are a parent and you realize you do this sometimes, please start giving your kids positive 'labels' like:

- you're special
- you're lovable
- you're pretty neat
- you're creative

One other thing that's been bothering me lately is that lots of parents make their kids be happy when they're upset about something, especially when they're toddlers (terrible twos). The reason this bothers me is because you're telling them it's not ok to feel anything other than happiness. Well I don't know about you, but I'm definitely not happy all the time, and God gave us a wide variety of emotions to feel. One of the reasons there is such a problem with addictions is because people don't want to have to deal with their problems or feel their pain, so they find vices to stuff their emotions. If we tell our kids to stop crying, or to be happy when they're sad or grumpy, we're not teaching them how to deal with their emotions or validating them. Their feelings are valid, even if we find the whining annoying, and it's our job as their parent to teach them how to handle their emotions.

For toddlers, you teach them that it's not ok to freak out and make everyone uncomfortable, so they need to remove themselves and let out all their frustrations somewhere else (maybe their room or on the stairs), that way they don't stuff their emotions. Then we need to go in and talk about why they were upset. I am in no way a perfect parent, and don't want to come across like I think I am. These are just a couple of things I feel pretty strongly about, so I thought I'd throw them out there and see what kind of feedback I get.